Bull shit, cow shit, lizard shit,
Thalabathy has stamped on pig shit,
Sun picture's face is fulla crow shit,
awww Damn ya are also been hit,
n thats a fucking shark shit...
Oh yeh oh god I m also hit...
n thats a fucking shark shit....
yehhhhhhhhhhhh Sura Shit.....
Hey fellas this Shit rap is dedicated to all the mortal humans who have survived the colossal catastrophe... Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... (cough..cough) aaaaaaahhhhhh... never thought I would see this day....thanks to Sura.... I m back....
Talking about shit; hey hey I don't wanna see that Yuck on yr face; coz every one of ya would have seen some shit in yr life.... but believe me have ya seen a shark shit...something which even the national geography or the Animal planet has forgotten to document... almost nobody has witnessed it in this world... now ya can be a part of the history, coz the shark shit is caught on tape n Sun pictures has released it in over 20 theatres in chennai now... Hats off Sun pictures.... We know ya can run any damn shit n this happens to be a special one, Thalabathy's 50 th shit.....
Now lets get onto Sura.... Well shark has this notorious habit of swallowing almost everything it can fit in its mouth... In an autopsy conducted on a female great white shark, researchers found pretty much everything in its guts...Cans, bottles, number plates, Panties with pussies intact (wow Lesbian Shark), Condoms with errr nothing.. all used condoms, also an unborn SAC's offspring (shit.. I jus revealed a truth... lemme delete it before anybody sees....clkclkclkclk... oh no FUCK my backspace is not working... damn)... forget that I m jus kidding.... the point is just like a Shark guts, we have pretty much all the garbage of this world packaged in Thlabathy's Sura....Probably thats y they named it like that.....
Story... In a small fishing village called Yaazh Nagar (Yaazhpaanam is touched here), lives a noble ass named Sura... He is like 10 moms in love.... he is like 10 elephants in strength... he is a chanakya in brain... kshatriya in courage... he is Tsunami + Tornado the whole square.... (as told/ shown in movie).... on a whole a total ass-swipe (this I m saying).... Yaazhnagar has a big problem.... The fisherman who go for fishing are getting vanished with their boats...When things keep continuing, Sura decides to investigate.... He starts his mission on his fishing boat.... an effective time manager he allocates ample time for his love interest Tammu Kutty, punch dialogues, acrobatic dances, gravity defying stunts, long jumps, high jumps and his usual blah blah blahs... In the middle of the sea, Sura's boat begins to shake n it gets sucked under water, n Sura manages to jump outta the boat safely... He gets a scuba diving kit outta no where , wears it, gets under water n he gets the shock of his life....Sura finds a miniature Black hole n thats sucking everything within its reach... Sura figures out that its one of the Bakisthan terrorist attack on India, this tym they have smuggled the Large Hedron Collider from Europe, collided protons to cause a black hole to suck total India into it...n yep.. What? I need to stop? Why? The story is shit? Its like Captain VijayKanth story? hahahahahaha If ya r not liking this one, how are ya gonna tolerate the original story of Sura... Oh Gawd.....ya betta getta life...
Vijay.... we are in sucha stage wherein we cannot mock Vijay anymore... coz he himself has been adjudged as a symbol of mockery these days... VJ gets everything wrong in sura... In his introduction, VJ leaps outta water like a dolphin witha very poorly executed rope shot... I can bet that ya r gonna see a lotta dolphins getting swept across the sea dead in coming days... well its nothing to do with 2012... they are all gonna commit mass suicide...VJ how can ya live with this... VJ has experimented a lotta new things in Sura.... He walks with his hand folded backwards, heads up lika Nithyanandha, sometimes tsunami behind him, sometimes tornado, sometime rays of light emanating outta him... wears black n black costumes in the scorching sun.... does mimicry... drives Audi... last but not the least he does ultimate get up change, n challenges Kamal's Dasavatharam... Shark Singh (will try posting the picture.... ya guys will laugh yr ass to explode)... even his dances haf let him down this tym.... "Naan nadandhaal adhiradi" is choreographed well, VJ has executed the dance well... however I would like to point out that dancing is different from dancing gracefully...VJ hasn't danced gracefully this tym... we are definitely missing his monkey face gestures he does on screen...
Tamanna.... she has absolutely nothing to showcase in sura except for her fair thighs, navel, hip.... she looks likea barbie doll... theres something cooking btw Sun pics and Tamanna.... I think I mentioned it before too... I m not happy abou this.... I haf my doubts on the Sun Pictures CEO Sex-ena...
Ekambaram Cameraman.... Is this the same guy who cinematographed Iyarkai... Damn in most of the scenes we could see the screen shaking... Was he stroking himself when he was shooting the pic...
SPRaajkumar or SPRaajakumar as a whole is a total asshole.... He gets a jackpot of his life, n look wat he did.... SPR will be known as Sura Pugazh RaajKumar in the days to come.... period... nothing more to talk on him....
Vadivelu as Umbrella.... "Shabba ippove kanna kattudhey".... I think we are all getting tired/sick/pissed of him n cannot bear him any longer.... Vadivelu yr days are numbered in cinema and real life (please visit a doctor n check yr cholesterol level) too....
ManiSharma.... He has n't done much this tym... all songs are graciously remade from his telugu hits.... he has faltered a lot in composing BGM.... I haf been a fan of his music.... infact when ya see Pokiri (telugu) when the BGM "Jagadame" starts we are sure to get goosebumps... In sura ya only hope there was no BGM at all....
Let me be very frank... Logic loopholes creep up in a script even it ya r taking the best precautions... I haf no problems with it....but in Sura they are not taking the precautions at all.... For example, Post interval Sura grabs 100 crore worth goods from villain (Rowdy MLA... ya guessed it right)... n ya know wat is in it....Heroine, Ganja, Abine... no no ya haf Laptops.... if a laptop cost arount 40k .... we haf 25000 laptops.... FUCKING SHIT... how the heck one can smuggle so many laptops... n then comes an unwanted scene, Sura sells the laptops in Mumbai... he is sitting in a auditorium, with his laptops spread across him, and on the laptops we see a VJ screen saver.... WTF.... So sura went to the desktop settings of each n every laptop, copied his image and set a screen saver.... this is too much guys.... its crap believe me.... n the climax, when Villain plants a remote controlled Bomb in the Yaazhnagar, Sura breaks the key board n all the wires which control the bomb... thats fine...but wat pisses me off is that the Bomb is diffused when the timer reads 0:00 .... this is CRAP.... even Captain VJkanth can diffuse a bomb with 3 sec to spare... but VJ does with no secs to spare... these are just small dirts in the Dustbin called Sura..... ya haf got worser scenes....
Wats really pathethic about this movie is we cannot even enjoy it by mocking... Coz even we are feeling sorry for VJ... Even I didn't expect his 50th movie would be like this... I heard SAC VJ's beloved father is the main culprit... he is the one who selected the script it seems.... VJ if ya really wanna make big, pls follow Simbhu.... donot listen to yr father hereafter.... he is a DumbAss ....
ya can log on to youtube n see naan nadanthaal adhiradi song... avoid this movie like plague.... So wats the Wattage -> 1 laptop needs 65 Watts... 25000 laptops = ? that much wattage rascala.... I m weak in mathematics....
Expecting VJ next movie... Goorkha... no no ... Watchman ... no no ... I don't remember the name, but the is something on this lines.... Lets wait for that shit too...
Anon ....
Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
TVP - Santhanam show again
Theeradha Vilayattu Pillai -- The first time I heard this name, I jus couldn't help laughing for it... coz the name sounded similar to a tamil bad word... Thevi****a pillai meaning a bastard...Incidendally a Theeradha Vilayattu Pillai and the Thev pillai are related... when a TVP fucks a girl, ditches her and she has babeeee, that baby is a Thev*** pillai.... I m getting more filthy day by day...Lets get onto the review....
Karthik (Vishal) is a rich kid who seeks to possess the best things of his choice... even when he has to buy a pen he takes a whole bundle of it writes n then selects the best one... thank god this guy doesn't think about buying a condom... Karthik decides to bang the best girl, and selects three girls in that process -- Priya, a Ethiraj college student.... Jyothi, a local gunda's sister.... Teju, heir to a 1500 crores property....Karthik starts eloping with the three girls at the same time, and by the interval Teju comes to know about his triple game.... Teju unable to bear the betrayal of Karthik, challenges him that she would fuck his aim for having the best girl... After interval Karthik n Teju play the cat n mouse game, Karthik realizes the true love of Priya, Karthik realizes that he is a action hero, Karthik sings a couple of unbearable duets n most importantly (will xplain later) a dog dies... awww SOB SOB that was a golden retriever or was that a Labrador... I dunno....
Vishal... ya gotto give it to him this time... he has tried tried something different.... whether has he succeeeded in it?...nope, he has just cleared the acid test... Kudos to him for just selecting sucha script... There are definitely betta performers who could have given TVP a better look alltogether, but Its Vishal's mere presence which makes the script look new... In spite of being repeatative he rocks when it comes to action... he is a flawless executioner of rope shots...all heroes should learn it from him... I m not kidding this tym, I really appreciate his stunts.... Vishal one tip, stop doing rope shots when ya are wearning a dhoti, coz in many scenes yr innerware was visible.... n we don't wanna see it...
The three girls ... If ya ask me all three don't deserve another chance in Tamil Cinema... Tanushree Dutta playing Jyothi, blame the make up artist.... coz she isn't that bad looking in real, those who haf seen her bollywood movies would readily accept this....In TVP she looks likea slut... a slut who has just returned after giving a blow job to a couple of guys simultaneously!!!!... probably its the reason why she has a swollen face in TVP....
Sara playing Priya, heard that she was a X-rated.. sorry ..what.. was that yep... X miss India... her unique feature is her angular face... I haven't seen a girl till now whose jaws widens at an angle of 60 degree... her face resembles a Papaya....Looks cute in certain angles n absolutely bizzare in the rest...her expressions are jus outta world... watch out for her introduction song "en jennal vandha kattru", wherien the Arvind Krishana the cameraman puts her in the midst of bueatific garden... expecting her to give that.. that expression of Awww, Wow, Owww kinda feel....n she gives an expression as if she is standing naked in the midst of some 100 old fucks gazing at her n strocking themselves....she has some 2000 light years to travel even to realize whats acting is all about...
Neetu Chandra, as Teju... the only female actor who has the lion's share in TVP... has performed well... an absolute delight for the front benchers as she mostly comes in skimpy costumes... cameraman Arvind Krishna hasn't missed even a pixel of the curves in her body.... but one would definitely accept, inspite of revealing so much Neetu doesn't look that sexy as she was in 13 B... Neetu should try more bollywood, coz she has shown almost every thing here... more than what she posess...
Now the crowd puller... this guy has made it a habit to overshadow the lead actors... yep I m talking about Santhanam... after watching TVP n ya get outta theatre the only thing which stays in ya mind is Santhanam's comedy....he is getting a hero response these days in theatre... so many whistles and applause... the best thing about him is even before he completes his dialogue the audience burst into laughter... we keep waiting for him to comeinto the frame everytime vishal n the gals take over it....
Prakash Raj comes as Jyothi's goonda brother... In a miniscule role he has done a good job... however I feel he is going overboard with his chellam chellam style of dialogue delivery... stop it sir, we wanna see betta performances from ya...Mouli as Vishal's father excels in his 5 - 6 scenes.... The cameraman comes in the climax as a doctor, who is treating vishal after an accident... unintentionally he made the whole theatre laugh when he uttered this "Karthik than pazhaya ninaivugala marandhuttaaru"....
The movie has its share of Laughs, giggles n a lotta yawns, farts... however the later two take the preceeding only in the last 40 mins of the movie...tats when Karthik realizes that "Unmaiyana Kaadhal" blah blah blah...TVP is definitely a time pass... this is what I suggest ... In one of the scene in second half a dog dies, take that as the word of caution from the director imself... any longer ya stay, ya could be the next... take ma suggestion leave the theatre at that very same moment... ya would have a feeling that ya had good fun...
60 Watts... Sun pictures will claim that this too is a big hit....
anon....
Excerpts ....
1, Hair stylist of TVP has done an extraordinary job.... his experiments with vishal's hair brings a hearty laugh
2, Sneha makes a guest appearance... wow she is gorgeous... donate a few beats of ya heart....
3, The evergreen Nettrikann BGM is used effectively by u1 shankar Raaja
4, Ya guys will start searching for the goundamani ring tone which Vishal has on his Iphone...
Note*
I saw Goa, Tamilpadam n Asal, I m not writing any reviews for them... its not coz they don't deserve to be reviewed... their release just coincided with my hibernation from blogging... thats it....
Kutty ... its miniscule
Hope ya guys haf gone or watched magic shows... Every time ya get on to sucha show, ya wanna see something new... something ya haven't seen before... its when the magician takes off his hat, keeps it upside down on his left hand, revolves his Wand around the Hat n Sez...
"Abraka Dabra
Shreya doesn't wear bra"
n out from the hat comes a Hare...
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP....APPLAUSE APPLAUSE....
Pity the audience... even after n number of times seeing the same shit, they still think this time its gonna be a different trick... only to realize....
"AWWWW that was the same dumb fucking Hare"
Aren't ya have asked yrself.... "Why its has to be always a Hare???? Why it can't be a Pussy"... I mean Cat?!! ... pussy Cat?!!... ya perverts, wat were ya thinking....
Its then we remember the saying "The Magician has one last trick up his sleeve".... Well Mitran Jawahar Doesn't....Infact he doesn't even a trick of his own... His Kutty is somewhat shitty....
For those who didn't see Aarya, Kutty's Original....
Geetanjali (Shreya) is a homely girl (Homely!!!! How long are we gonna use this word without knowing the actual meaning... will explain at the end) n studies music in a college... The college thug Arjun, the spoilt son of politician, falls in love with her, threatens Geeta that he would jump off the college terrace if she doesn't reciprocate... a confused Geeta Sez that three words, 'I Love You' n just then the camera man adjusts the camera lens n ya see Kutty (Danaush) who has now fallen for Geeta... Now comes the twist, Kutty proposes Geeta much to the dismay of Arjun, turns philosophical n sez "ya don't need to love me... Jus feel ma Love"... What happens next pretty much is Kutty trying to woo his girl, n prove his love... At one time he even rescues Geeta n Arjun n tries to get them married when Arjun's father shows red signal to Arjun's Love... don't ask him why would he do that.... He would turn philosophical again n start blabbering some shit... nauseating shit... n in climax when Geeta n Arjun are abou to get married ya see the usual magic...snap.... the hare outta hat... yes yes ya got that, Shreya realises Kutty's Love n breaks the marriage n confesses her love to Kutty....
ta taaaan.... Magic Over.... CLAP guys.... CLAP!!!!!! "Hey Jawahar... pssss... these A'holes are not clapping yaar"....
Dhanush as Kutty, hasn't performed his best... take for example thiruvilayadal or even the Sun Picture hit Padikkathavan, his involvement as an actor was always there... but If you had already seen Yaaradi Nee Mohini and now Kutty, ya would realise that Dhanush is not at all comfortable... he is not giving his 100%... incidentally both these movies are directed by Jawahar... So where is the problem... If Dhanush is not interested in working with Jawahar why is he repeating it??
Shreya... she lacks the innocence required for Geeta's character... even after coming completely covered in dress, she was still looking sexy... as the movie claims she wasn't looking Homely... I mean still one can visualize her feminine anatomy.... casting her was one big mistake.... Yep but she did her part well as an actor...
Second Hero... The guy who plays Arjun... don't know his name... but once he was a Kannada heart throb, even starred in Corporate Hindi movie... As far as I could remember he was a fine actor... Having said that it would be better if he sticks to Kannad n Hindi movies... Why should he act in Tamil n get blasted as a bad actor... Watch out for his acting when Kutty proposes Geeta before his eyes... He starts jumping as if a Cockroch went inside his innerware... that was ROTFL... Other than jumping, one more thing he does is smoking... Pretty much in every scene he is spotted witha cig... Its so irritating when ya see this Guy smoking in coffee shop, college campus n ya can't coz smoking in theatre premise is an offense... Hey bro please get lost from Tamil cinema, its good for ya and us...
Mitran Jawahar, Its high time ya start making ya own script... but if ya haf decided to remake, betta don't keep seeing the original DVD while filming... coz seeing Yaaradi n Kutty reiterates the fact that ya are good at only xerox copying... so wats ya next trick... Wat??? ya are remaking "Ready" that too with dhanush....Holy christ!!!!!
DSP, Well for those who have been reading ma blog they would know I never comment on music.... But now I don't have an option ... Hats off DSP... ya are talent personified... its simply impossible for anybody to survive with only 5 or 6 tunes for these many years... please teach other MDs the trick... the trick were ya rehash yr own music n still suceed in making the audience believe that ya are giving a new tune....
Kutty should be lapped up by family audience as it sans vulgarities and double endrers.... however it will not be catching the attention of the younger crowd like Aarya, its original... The problem with Kutty is it moves with a medium pace n the script doesn't accelerate... Ya haf gotto kill some time, give Kutty a try... Ya would realise the importance of time...
45 Watts Just Pass.... but notta time pass ...
Excerpts --
* Aarthy does a role in this movie, n is she doing a girl or boy? Well many are having a doubt on this...
* Remember the lill' gal who comes as Prakash Raj Daughter in Abiyum Naanum, she has grown in Kutty, barely 2 years gone... Wow Galz grow like this... snap...
* Remember "Arjun Amma yaaru" 4 n half milk ad, well they didn't show her in Kutty too.... however they showed Arjun's father... itz Radha Ravi...
Before signing off am I forgetting something...mmm yep... Homely Girl... Guys don't use this sentence, Homely girl doen't mean a calm composed good looking gal, au contraire it means a servant like or bad looking girl... Hey don't throw that shock at me... its how it is... its the actual meaning...
Anon
Ayirathil oruvan would appeal to 1 in 1000
This year didn't start well for the movie goers atleast, We jus didn't witness any new movies after Christmas.... thats probably y ma blog didn't have anything new after 3 Idiots.... Now Ayirathil Oruvan has released, n I m back, but I really hate to review 1 in 1000 as ma first blog post of 2010.... Wat ya couldn't believe your ears....
Before we get on with the review, I have got some questions....
* I would first question on the basic common sense which producers lack these days... these chicken brains don't even know which is the right time to release a movie... They need to learn this if they need to survive... Its Pongal, so unless somebody rested for good (RIP) in our home, we would be pretty much celebrating this festival, ain't we.... So why should one see a disturbing, emotional movie on an auspicious day... Why can't the producers plan a release according to the emotion of the public...
* Why can't a movie carry a disclaimer before its release? by disclaimer I don't mean "All characters in this motion picture are fictious...blah blah blah...." shits... What I would really want to see is "This movie is not intented for pure fun.. It has its moments which could question your sensitivity and redefine your view on vulgarity" kinda stuffs... So that before I would book a movie, I can actually decide If I gotto watch it or not... coz most guys these days like me are really sensitive, n just can't take any sensitive shits.... even if it comes outta ass of a renowned director like Selva Raghavan....
* False propagation.... why this is happening?? Ya name a movie after a MGR movie, Ya put two good looking chicks as leads, In every damn interview ya claim its an adventure movie, first of its kind in Tamil cinema, ur trailor doen't reveal the plot... n just when we expect to see an Indiana Jones, Mummy kinda story we are actually made to confront the harsh reality of whats happenned, happening in Eelam.... What was expected to be a fun filled roller coaster ride, actually turns out to be a movie for the strong hearts...
Ayiarathil Oruvan, starts with a chola prince being sent to exile to remote Island guarded by Stingrays, Cannibals, Snakes, Quick sands... Prathap Pothan an astrologer... no no not that aan archeologist in search of the Chola kingdom is missing... Reema Sen with the help of Mercenery batallion under Major who skipped his rifle classes n doesn't know how to handle an AK 47, goes in search of the missing man.... Andrea Pothan's daughter joins the mission, aided by a local thug Karthy, a MGR fanatic... Little did Karthy and Andrea know that Reema is there not to find Pothan but a dumb idol of their moothaathaathaiyar, which was abducted by the Cholan's from the Pandians when they went exile... Did Reema find the idol? Did Andrea find her father? Did Karthy was able to bang one of the chiks atleast? All are answered in this 3 hr 15 mins looooooooong movie....
The biggest problem with Ayiram is its too RAW to digest... Everything is shown explicitly, be it Reema urinating to prove her virginity or a woman revealing her mammary which is devoid of milk for her lill' one... The movie starts on a promising note, with a lot of VFX flaws (We will talk about this later) ofcourse.... but towards the second half Selva begins to let his hold off his horse, allows it to wander and start controlling it after he went to an entirely different destination... Its the let loose screenplay in the second half, which makes the otherwise good plot to tumble like a river of gemstones...
Karthy, yet to come from the Paruthiveeran hangover, hasn't done anything diffrent here.... However his screen presence was undeniably good... Be it confronting Reema n Andrea, or dancing with the chola king Parthiban, or leading the chola army from front against the pandians he does his part well... We only hope Karthy comes outta this image, the expectation has only rised for his Payya....
Reema Sen, probably her best till date, infact she isn't gonna perform better in future too... grrrr I m not kidding this time....
Parthiban, as a Chola king breaths life into the character... proves yet again that he is a fine actor....
Andrea, She doesn't have much to do in this movie, except for exposing her curves... Her pimples didn't look good on her face... Ya can't hide this from me baby....
SelvaRaghavan succeeds as a script writer but falters when he needed to bring to the screen... Had he written a novel on the same lines, it would have sold like hot cakes, made history.... but movie making is different, sometimes just having good ambitions isn't enough, ya gotto have the resources too...
VFX and CG -
Well I don't want any excuses.... Jus plainly accept that the graphic works sucked big time... Snakes, elphants, camels... yuck none looked good... And the stingrays in the water, that would be the world's worst graphics till date... I mean this... As I told before sometimes good scripta aren't enough for a good movie....
Inspirations -
The movie is heavily inspired from Mummy, Mecana;s Gold, Time Line of the hollywood... Selva is so inspired from the hollywood flicks that he has lifted some scenes into ayirathil oruvan, making minor change... He has actually blend the hollywood flicks with some tamil history, but the propotion isn't good....
Climax -
I dunno why this was filmed in first place... Its the most depressing scene in the picture... I am a person who feels that rape scenes should be removed from tamil cinema.... n what we witness here is a gang rape that too with a Vijay song running in the background... n showing the merceneries indulging in such activities, is gonna raise a lotta eyebrows... Selva went overboard, the bodylanguage of the Army personals looked very savage.... looks like Selva is asking for trouble....
On a ending note, firstly I m quite disturbed with the movie, as a result this is not my usual laughable kinda review... I just felt its insane to make fun of this movie, though it deserves to be at many places... So whether ya should see this movie?... First don't listen to assholes who say "Encourage movies like Ayirathil Oruvan".... Ask yourself if you want only entertainment, ya wanna laugh outta theatre.... if the answer is Yes, just plainly avoid this picture.... If ya are a weak hearted, ya have a family with whome ya would love to watch movies, ya take time to get outta movie don't watch it... coz this movie doesn't entertain... If ya have a craving for raw subjects, ya feel that ya have the best taste for tamil cinema, ya are a guy who would hate to believe that Bala or Selva could give flops, Jus go n watch it... even ya would feel its more RAW than ya expected.... One can imagine ma plight....
It would be better that I don't give a wattage for Ayirathil Oruvan... It doesn't deserve low ratings, but I don't wanna give high rating...
Excerpt -
* Why was Reema Sen and his fellow Pandiya's wearing medieval outfits in the climax fight with the cholas.... ROTFL....
* When Parthiban is deceived by Reema, he tries to slither his throat, at that time one old man pulls the knife off and slaps the King.... I felt goosebumps in ma hand... Its in places like this Selva stands talll.... but its not enough....
This is one big doubt, which suddenly came to ma mind, did Cholas invent Chola Poori?????!!!!!!!!...
Bye for Now....
** Would like to thank Sat_hi_sh for pointing out the mistake in ma blog, hence replaced Indian Military with mercenery, still I wouldn't accept the climax....
3 Idiots... Aal izz Well
3 idiots is the story about Rancho, Farhan n Raju.... The movie starts with Farhan and Raju searching for the 3rd idiot Rancho who went missing after the graduation day in ICE (Imperial College of engineering... shhhhh its actually based on IIT) for some years now... thanks to their fellow classmate Chatur Ramalingham, the flatulence brigade, a man with the quest to show what he has achieved in these years, Farhan n Raju come to know that Rancho lives in shimla... n while they travel to Shimla the movie as expected, goes to the flash back mode unfolding in ICE... their college life, their passion, their college director Viru Sahastrabudde aka Virus, their exams, their marks n a lot of remarks, their family, n Rancho's romance with Piya, Viru's Daughter is pretty much what we witness there after... n if ya are thinking "so wats new in this", ya gotto watch the movie to appreciate how could a neat screenplay n good dialogues could pull an otherwise ordinary story to a visual treat....
Aamir khan playing Rancho, steals the show with his comic timing n effortless acting n that cute lill' expressions... In spite of playing a college kid in his mid 40's he is still convincing... Madhavan as Farhan looks more like a professor than a student, but he has done a neat job with his share of pixels n sound... Sharman has been given ample scope to perform n he has made the best use of it... Boman Irani as ViruS, Kareena kapoor as Piya have done their part well... But the surprise winner is Omi Vaidya who plays the role of chatur Ramalingham... every one of us could relate the Ramalingham to a asshole (shoule we say an!!!!... ideally we should say 'an' instead of 'a' for words staring with vowels right?) from our college or school n thats the success of Omi... btb if ya were / are an asshole like Ramalingham lemme tell ya upfront, I have no faint intention to take my words back... ya guys suck big time....ya know I m kidding don't ya....not to forget Omi has shown a good difference as a college student n as a aging, balding million dollar man.... If I start talking about all the good performances, this blog entry is gonna grow big like that of Vettaikaran... So lemme stop here....
3 Idiots comes from the man behind Munnabhai, Raju Hirani, who has now made it a habit to strike gold with every outing... Hirani's idea of making a movie with ample dose of humour, love n sentiments has never ever let him down... n this guy is never going outta ideas... his earnest efforts are visible in every frame... cheers Hirani... "Yeh lambi kahani hai... bina subtitle wali", "iske wajeh se hi global warming ho raha hain", "yeh hai kilo byte, wo hain giga byte aur wo inke maa mega byte... dis family donot bite" its dialogues like these which tickle our funny bones n makes 3 idiots work a big time....whoever has penned the dialogues deserves a pat on his back... the funny oneliners are the mortar that hold the tiles of 3 idiots together...watch out for the scene where Chatur Ramaligham gives a speech in shudh hindi, a good example for good dialogue writing...Kudos to the camera crew, music crew and the choreographers, for the three songs... Esp Zoobi zoobi rocks...
3 idiots may not be the best of Rajkumar Hirani, but the movie never fails to entertain in its 140 minutes of run... donot think any longer, just log into the theatre site n book ya show... its worth every penny ya spend, good laugh is guarenteed... Had this movie released some weeks before, I would have gone to watch Vettaikaran, keeping hand in my chest saying to myself "aal izz well, aal izz well"....
90 watts...its really good I say....total paisa vasool movie... worth many watches.....
I do have these question in ma mind -
* Boman Irani shows a astronaut pen, which writes even in space.... does the pen doesn't go outta ink or refill, coz virus is using the pen from his college days n aamir is shown using it for a couple of years... they were presented the pen but not the refill right? Then how are they using it for years...
* Is Kareena older than Aamir in this movie... coz aamir is studying in college n kareena has already started assisting doctors.... itz kinda confusing
* Why weren't Farhan n Raju couldn't track Rancho for years? they could have found it by just looking into their college registers ain't they? atleast they could have reached shimla... after all Rancho's father is sucha big shot....
Vettaikaaran....itz just mindu blasting
Mark this day on ya calendar guys... just don't ask any further questions just mark it... coz 10 years down the lane if ya find yourself sitting before the King Khan on a hot seat on Kaun Banega crorepati,ya have won 5 crores already... this is pretty much gonna be the question for 10 crores....
"Compaq baaji please show the next question...."
......tantatattatatatatatatattan.................
"Which historic event in indian cinema is associated with Dec 18 2009... n the options are
A) Aadhavan day B) Vettaikaran day C) Kandasamy day D) Friday"
I just want ya to throw a slyish smile at sharukh and say this,
"U know wat dick face... U think ya have asked me a tough question ain't ya... go fuck yaself coz the answer is B Vettaikaran... n tats ma final answer"
"are you sure? confident? pakka pakka?"
"Hey jus lock it ya asshole"
"Compaq baaji option B lock keejiye"
......tantatattatatatatatatattan.................
"n Option B is the correct answer... wat a player, wat a player.... ya have won 10 crores... fantastic awsome mindblowing superb chaiwaalaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
Coming straight to the point... Ottaikaran oops Vettaikaran... this is one movie ya shouldn't miss... just like one shouldn't miss Captain or TR movies... coz the film is so much fun and turns out to be a real stressbuster...Its one movie which if seen with the correct mind will entertain ya like a roller coaster ride and would leave ya craving for more n more... Its one movie which would make ya loose all ya inhibitions ya have carried for so long and bring out the kid in you... Its a movie which is gonna rush blood, aldreneline up ya system and push urine n shit down ya system 'at the same time' ... ya will literally shit / pee in ya pants... n if ya are a person who leaves the brain behind the theatre door before watching a movie, this time go inside with it...coz u need lotz of brain to appreciate the unintended fun and frolic of the vettaikaaran...Its a movie which would be enjoyed by the anti-vijay fans for all wrong reasons... Its gonna be that one movie which happens to be a colossal dud and blockbuster at the same time...n I mean this whole heartedly... thalavali aarambamayiduchi doiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....
Vijay plays Ravi aka Police Ravi aka vettaikaran.... a MBBF (Matric mein baar baar fail) student whose only ambition, intention and loose motion is to become a police... he idolises a super cop Devaraj who is a terror to thugs and god to the public... after failing the 12th standard 3 or 4 times (even the director is not sure about this, so lets stick with the or condition) he clears school and he gets a seat in a college in which once Devaraj studied... he also sworns on his grand mom's tits that he will pay the college fees by driving auto rickshaw... guess what he meets the girls of his dreams anushka on a railway station and its just love at first sight for him...In chennai VJ joins college, drives auto as part time and spies on his lady professor's pre marital affairs on his free time.... he runs behind anushka and runs straight into the local thug Shella's asshole, a man who wears diappers to control his free flowing lust for women...Shella is the only son of the terror man Vedhanayagam, a complete jack ass who thinks people are afraid of him... Subsequently VJ beats shella blue and black and shows him morning stars sends him to hospital... this puts him in direct confrontation with vedhanayagham, who summons police to get VJ killed in an encounter... How VJ escapes? How he faces the threat of Vedhanayagam? How does he bring down the entire empire of Vedhanayagham? all these Hows becomes Wows in the 2 hr 45 mins non-stop entertainer... Azhivu aarambamayiduchi doiiiiiiiiiiiii.....
The introduction scene is just mind blowing... I pity James Cameroon for his avatar, having spent over half billion dollors he could n't create vettaikaran majic... Esp when Vijay chases the police jeep on a horse, one expects to have a 3D glass, it would be rocking to see the vijay on the horse just coming outa the screen... audience would just scream,
"Hey thats a female horse"
"VJ is on its back n he is whacking it..eeeeeiiiikkkkk...."
"thalabathy thalaivaaaa wat a horse power!!!!!"... VJ is at his usual best ... he flies defying gravity, rotates defying inertia, centrifugal force... its high time that physics subject is removed from the schools, coz this is the nth time our thalabathy has disproved all laws of physics... We are teaching our children shit... wats the point in saying that "children are the future of the Disunited States of India" when we are actually keeping them in dark teaching them the damn old Newton's law... F = MA, F equals MA... fuck that... F is not equal to MA anymore... its V = MA, Vijay = Mass * Action... lets teach our children this... they need to know this... wait a sec now talking about children, Kutty thalabathy has made a screen debut in vettaikaran, attaboy what a performance, for his age he has done a pretty decent job... If ya all agree the intro is mindblowing jus hold ya breath coz the interval and climax are mindu blasting... mindu blasting.... watch out guys thalabathy is back with a bang...
Babu sivan comes from the school of Dharani and Perarasu, n ya got to give it to him, he has learned the basics n nuances well... Just imagine a 10th student giving his board exam looking at his question paper, his face suddenly lits up
"Hey I know all these answers, thank god I have read it so many times...."
Its the same here for Sivan, he has that same enthusiasm, he was saying
"Hey I know these scenes, thank god I have seen it so many times.." ...
Sivan proves his mettle by just rehashing his gurus' previous movies dhill, dhool, kuruvi, thirupachi, sivakasi.... so wat does this say, all that ya need to make a VJ movie is some DVDs and some permutation n combination... I think he takes care of the dialogues too... punch dialogues fills in every pixel of this sun pictures that you just cannot count it with numbers... ya need advanced mathematics like limits and Calculus.... see I told ya , u need your brain... we talked about physics now its the mathematics.... so wats the next subject... mm maths physics aan yes chemistry!!!!!
Buoy, watta gal, Anushka... shez absolutely gorgeous... n the chemistry between her and Vijay is rickrolling... Esp oru chinna thamarai song... a blond straight hair wigged Vijay who resembles his cousin Vikranth does a michael jackson... Just before this song, anushka is shown totally wet, soaked in rain water... believe me shez so hot, sooooooo hot that one could see the rain droplets are evaporating from her hip area... nay jus kidding...Though the songs are rocking the choreography sucked big time... none of the song was VJ's usual stuff... n ya know wat in one song VJ tries to do a Amir khan of tata sky AD by doing a half man n half women... How could a mass hero do such a demeaning thing... I cracked into laughter and felt pity for VJ at the same time... One more thing in "Kari kalan" song watch VJ stomach area... n wat do we see there... hey hey hez got a slight tummy...What happend VJ?... you were teasing Ajith in sachien... flexing ya muscles in Kuruvi... now what happened... skipping ya Gym classes... any family problems.... infact his tummy is visible in many scenes... n one more thing VJ kisses Anushka on her lips... yes ya heard it right... well I know what ya are feeling...same here... sok sok....
We have movies which are called mindless entertainers... keep ya brain at home... n enjoy this movie... don't see any logic... and ya 500 grms friend, ur brain, the poor chap starts crying to ya... "Hey u deep fuck...where are ya going... why are you leaving me behind.. y shud I do all the java code... Y should I feed the data to oracle db using data stage...y should I calculate your expenses and taxes...n y the heck I gotto remember ya girl friends b' day.... I m getting pissed off doing this same shit... I want entertainment... take me with ya.. take me with ya".... its high time guys, that ya say "Ok Ok bastard... I m taking u to vettaikaran n ya are gonna love it".
I had a wild time yesterday... every nueron in ma brains became active... I felt fully rejunuvated, thanks to VJ and his team, ma brain had a lot of work to do n that was awsome...Well already this blog entry is the longest here, so I would mention only that few moments that made me feel "Hey I m intelligent"...
* In the encounter scene of VJ... he is taken to some place... all of the sudden he finds a water fall where his ancestral instinct from kuruvi triggers and he does the free fall from the water fall... how the heck he got a water fall in chennai... has he been taken to kuttralam for an encounter... wow i m really brainy yaar... incidently the freefall scene is better than that scene in Avatar... as I said before Avatar is laking the magic of thalabathy...
* The moment ya see sathyan on the screen, every one makes an easy guess, if somebody is gonna get his testicles laminated its gonna be him...xactly thats what happens he gets killed by Vedhanayagham, the bayam...this is wat I was thinking...evry damn guy knows he is gonna die...then y VJ didn't guess it...y the heck he bought him to chennai first... n when sathyan is killed and parcelled in a TV case and send to VJ... VJ sees blood oozing outa the case... I m asking y should it come only when VJ sees it...comeon guys that asshole is killed in some place, he is parcelled, he is bought on a jeep, don't u think by the moment the parcel is delivered it would be actually soaked in blood... think think... see it triggers ya mind....
* Coming next is the highlight... VJ challenges to Vedhanayagham, that he is gonna kill his son Shella... Shella is actually in a swimming pool amonst a set of junior artists sorry babes... when vedhanayagam warns him about VJ he wears a bath robe, note it bath robe and he gets onto the jeep... ya you guessed it right... VJ is driving it... Shella doesn't know to swim... so VJ drives the jeep over the bridge onto the water.. n under water he locks the car with his remote n allow shella drown to death... now brain thinks... Is that not possible to open a car from inside!!! damn guys the car is locked using remote, u can pretty much open it from inside... y didn't babu sivan think about it... How I mean WOW... let me tell again WOWWWWWWWWWWWw.....
This time no 60, 70, 80 watts... its 1500 Watts I say... n I recommend that every one give it a try.... Its probably the best movie of this year... But you see if you had a pissed off day n you wanna relax don't go... coz seeing vettaikaran is an execution.. ya gotto plan... gather atleast 10 guys ready to give some job to their brain... book in advance and be there... ya are gonna have fun... This movie would make sound for all the wrong reasons... Its gonna be a blockbuster... ya gonna laugh ya ass out...
Excerpt:
Post interval Vijay looks at the audience and says...
"Ungalukkellam Kuruvi, villu paththadhudaa....vera vera vera vera
Vettaikaran thaanda"
"puli urumudhu Puli urumudhu......
parandhu varaan vettai kaaran
paamaranin kootu kaaran
nalla paadum paatu kaaran
gandhi porandha naattu kaaram
kambedutha vettaikaaran....."
What the fuck am I singing?
Nikkama odu odu odu odu odu...
anon
Renugunta... entertaining and disturbing
So much of hype... literally so much of hype... some of the orkut communities started talking about this movie from 2 weeks ago... expected to release last week but faced a ban from censor... so the hyppe incremented exponentially... n this week it got released.... Just for the sheer hype surrounding it I ended up watching this movie in the midst of cheering crowd, whistling at every scene, yelling for every dialogue, clapping for every bone break, bloor splurt or fights... But ya know wat Renigunta is more disturbing than entertaining... mm atleast for me....
Renigunta's story starts at the title place where cops are hunting down five notorious gangsters... the twist is, the gangsters are barely legal to do any crime (oops wat am I saying)... all the five are below 21 and four have them have quite a list of criminal cases behind them... well the movie showcases the story of Sakthi (not again... again heroes name is sakthi... are the directors outa their fucking mind) who is orphaned by a local gangster and in the pursuit of seeking revenge he ends up in jail where he meets the other four kids... One of the Kid is told that they got quite a life at Mumbai and they flee the jail only to end up in Renigunta... thanks to the checking inspector.... Here the inevitable happens ... no price for guessing... even a kid would know that its high time the hero kid falls in love... n ya have sentiment story of the girl... some cigarette puffs.... drinking.... fights... love... encounter... prostitutes... comedy... n a typical end of any ganster movie... If some pussy fart sniffer claims that Renigunta is an offbeat entertainer ya gotta look at his eyes and say "Fuckkkkkkkkkkk UUUUUUUUUUU. Its a ganster formula movie ya cock sucker....Just starring a bunch of kids doesn't make it a shit offbeat..."
Hey hey don't get angry... even I accept its a well taken movie.... everything is in place... great acting.... good narration... great camera work... though I don't comment on music I gotta tell ya the music was noteworthy.... but I only differ in the view on the outcome....I won't call the movie as good or a great watch... as I told before its disturbing....
See there is one crippled kid who talks to a police men in a demeaning way... at that moment we tend to enjoy it (that includes me too) ... The kids strip a police officer... again applause from the crowd... I pity the poilce... big actors beat them in public, villains illtreat them now its the turn of kids... aren't we showing them in wrong light... just give it a thought...I just could n't digest kids slapping older people... wats the movie trying to propagate... ya are 19 yrs old then ya can fuck any ass in this world... Wat does the director had in his mind when he made this movie? Is this the same reaction he expected from the crowd (whistles n cheers) ? Whats the theme of the movie? Wats the outcome of this movie? Why should we whistle for the scene when the prostitute enters the room of sakthi? why should a villain always crave for sex with a littel girl? Its for questions like this I m not able to find a answer....
In the acting front every body has done well... special kudos to dabba, steals the show effortlessly... he is the real hero of the movie... but ya tend to get the feeling that this kids is talking more for his age... and the heroine is a great find but ya gotto wait some time for her to sizzle to be a full grown heroine.... Hats off to the camera work... top notch... and well crafted stunts... too violent too... excellent art work n crisp editing....
Well in the 2 hr 10 mins run I found myself thoroughly entertained... the same would happen to you... ya would like the movie inside the hall... but once ya get outa the theatre ya are gonna have a uneasy feeling... ya will be asking the yourself the same questions which came on ma mind...
80 Watts ....
Excerpt:
There is this villain in renigunta who talks good tamil in the starting but towards the climax he forgets the language totally.... did he have a memory loss!!!!!!!!!!!!
