Vettaikaaran....itz just mindu blasting

Mark this day on ya calendar guys... just don't ask any further questions just mark it... coz 10 years down the lane if ya find yourself sitting before the King Khan on a hot seat on Kaun Banega crorepati,ya have won 5 crores already... this is pretty much gonna be the question for 10 crores....
"Compaq baaji please show the next question...."
......tantatattatatatatatatattan.................
"Which historic event in indian cinema is associated with Dec 18 2009... n the options are
A) Aadhavan day B) Vettaikaran day C) Kandasamy day D) Friday"

I just want ya to throw a slyish smile at sharukh and say this,
"U know wat dick face... U think ya have asked me a tough question ain't ya... go fuck yaself coz the answer is B Vettaikaran... n tats ma final answer"
"are you sure? confident? pakka pakka?"
"Hey jus lock it ya asshole"
"Compaq baaji option B lock keejiye"
......tantatattatatatatatatattan.................
"n Option B is the correct answer... wat a player, wat a player.... ya have won 10 crores... fantastic awsome mindblowing superb chaiwaalaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Coming straight to the point... Ottaikaran oops Vettaikaran... this is one movie ya shouldn't miss... just like one shouldn't miss Captain or TR movies... coz the film is so much fun and turns out to be a real stressbuster...Its one movie which if seen with the correct mind will entertain ya like a roller coaster ride and would leave ya craving for more n more... Its one movie which would make ya loose all ya inhibitions ya have carried for so long and bring out the kid in you... Its a movie which is gonna rush blood, aldreneline up ya system and push urine n shit down ya system 'at the same time' ... ya will literally shit / pee in ya pants... n if ya are a person who leaves the brain behind the theatre door before watching a movie, this time go inside with it...coz u need lotz of brain to appreciate the unintended fun and frolic of the vettaikaaran...Its a movie which would be enjoyed by the anti-vijay fans for all wrong reasons... Its gonna be that one movie which happens to be a colossal dud and blockbuster at the same time...n I mean this whole heartedly... thalavali aarambamayiduchi doiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

Vijay plays Ravi aka Police Ravi aka vettaikaran.... a MBBF (Matric mein baar baar fail) student whose only ambition, intention and loose motion is to become a police... he idolises a super cop Devaraj who is a terror to thugs and god to the public... after failing the 12th standard 3 or 4 times (even the director is not sure about this, so lets stick with the or condition) he clears school and he gets a seat in a college in which once Devaraj studied... he also sworns on his grand mom's tits that he will pay the college fees by driving auto rickshaw... guess what he meets the girls of his dreams anushka on a railway station and its just love at first sight for him...In chennai VJ joins college, drives auto as part time and spies on his lady professor's pre marital affairs on his free time.... he runs behind anushka and runs straight into the local thug Shella's asshole, a man who wears diappers to control his free flowing lust for women...Shella is the only son of the terror man Vedhanayagam, a complete jack ass who thinks people are afraid of him... Subsequently VJ beats shella blue and black and shows him morning stars sends him to hospital... this puts him in direct confrontation with vedhanayagham, who summons police to get VJ killed in an encounter... How VJ escapes? How he faces the threat of Vedhanayagam? How does he bring down the entire empire of Vedhanayagham? all these Hows becomes Wows in the 2 hr 45 mins non-stop entertainer... Azhivu aarambamayiduchi doiiiiiiiiiiiii.....

The introduction scene is just mind blowing... I pity James Cameroon for his avatar, having spent over half billion dollors he could n't create vettaikaran majic... Esp when Vijay chases the police jeep on a horse, one expects to have a 3D glass, it would be rocking to see the vijay on the horse just coming outa the screen... audience would just scream,
"Hey thats a female horse"
"VJ is on its back n he is whacking it..eeeeeiiiikkkkk...."
"thalabathy thalaivaaaa wat a horse power!!!!!"... VJ is at his usual best ... he flies defying gravity, rotates defying inertia, centrifugal force... its high time that physics subject is removed from the schools, coz this is the nth time our thalabathy has disproved all laws of physics... We are teaching our children shit... wats the point in saying that "children are the future of the Disunited States of India" when we are actually keeping them in dark teaching them the damn old Newton's law... F = MA, F equals MA... fuck that... F is not equal to MA anymore... its V = MA, Vijay = Mass * Action... lets teach our children this... they need to know this... wait a sec now talking about children, Kutty thalabathy has made a screen debut in vettaikaran, attaboy what a performance, for his age he has done a pretty decent job... If ya all agree the intro is mindblowing jus hold ya breath coz the interval and climax are mindu blasting... mindu blasting.... watch out guys thalabathy is back with a bang...



Babu sivan comes from the school of Dharani and Perarasu, n ya got to give it to him, he has learned the basics n nuances well... Just imagine a 10th student giving his board exam looking at his question paper, his face suddenly lits up
"Hey I know all these answers, thank god I have read it so many times...."
Its the same here for Sivan, he has that same enthusiasm, he was saying
"Hey I know these scenes, thank god I have seen it so many times.." ...
Sivan proves his mettle by just rehashing his gurus' previous movies dhill, dhool, kuruvi, thirupachi, sivakasi.... so wat does this say, all that ya need to make a VJ movie is some DVDs and some permutation n combination... I think he takes care of the dialogues too... punch dialogues fills in every pixel of this sun pictures that you just cannot count it with numbers... ya need advanced mathematics like limits and Calculus.... see I told ya , u need your brain... we talked about physics now its the mathematics.... so wats the next subject... mm maths physics aan yes chemistry!!!!!

Buoy, watta gal, Anushka... shez absolutely gorgeous... n the chemistry between her and Vijay is rickrolling... Esp oru chinna thamarai song... a blond straight hair wigged Vijay who resembles his cousin Vikranth does a michael jackson... Just before this song, anushka is shown totally wet, soaked in rain water... believe me shez so hot, sooooooo hot that one could see the rain droplets are evaporating from her hip area... nay jus kidding...Though the songs are rocking the choreography sucked big time... none of the song was VJ's usual stuff... n ya know wat in one song VJ tries to do a Amir khan of tata sky AD by doing a half man n half women... How could a mass hero do such a demeaning thing... I cracked into laughter and felt pity for VJ at the same time... One more thing in "Kari kalan" song watch VJ stomach area... n wat do we see there... hey hey hez got a slight tummy...What happend VJ?... you were teasing Ajith in sachien... flexing ya muscles in Kuruvi... now what happened... skipping ya Gym classes... any family problems.... infact his tummy is visible in many scenes... n one more thing VJ kisses Anushka on her lips... yes ya heard it right... well I know what ya are feeling...same here... sok sok....

We have movies which are called mindless entertainers... keep ya brain at home... n enjoy this movie... don't see any logic... and ya 500 grms friend, ur brain, the poor chap starts crying to ya... "Hey u deep fuck...where are ya going... why are you leaving me behind.. y shud I do all the java code... Y should I feed the data to oracle db using data stage...y should I calculate your expenses and taxes...n y the heck I gotto remember ya girl friends b' day.... I m getting pissed off doing this same shit... I want entertainment... take me with ya.. take me with ya".... its high time guys, that ya say "Ok Ok bastard... I m taking u to vettaikaran n ya are gonna love it".

I had a wild time yesterday... every nueron in ma brains became active... I felt fully rejunuvated, thanks to VJ and his team, ma brain had a lot of work to do n that was awsome...Well already this blog entry is the longest here, so I would mention only that few moments that made me feel "Hey I m intelligent"...

* In the encounter scene of VJ... he is taken to some place... all of the sudden he finds a water fall where his ancestral instinct from kuruvi triggers and he does the free fall from the water fall... how the heck he got a water fall in chennai... has he been taken to kuttralam for an encounter... wow i m really brainy yaar... incidently the freefall scene is better than that scene in Avatar... as I said before Avatar is laking the magic of thalabathy...

* The moment ya see sathyan on the screen, every one makes an easy guess, if somebody is gonna get his testicles laminated its gonna be him...xactly thats what happens he gets killed by Vedhanayagham, the bayam...this is wat I was thinking...evry damn guy knows he is gonna die...then y VJ didn't guess it...y the heck he bought him to chennai first... n when sathyan is killed and parcelled in a TV case and send to VJ... VJ sees blood oozing outa the case... I m asking y should it come only when VJ sees it...comeon guys that asshole is killed in some place, he is parcelled, he is bought on a jeep, don't u think by the moment the parcel is delivered it would be actually soaked in blood... think think... see it triggers ya mind....

* Coming next is the highlight... VJ challenges to Vedhanayagham, that he is gonna kill his son Shella... Shella is actually in a swimming pool amonst a set of junior artists sorry babes... when vedhanayagam warns him about VJ he wears a bath robe, note it bath robe and he gets onto the jeep... ya you guessed it right... VJ is driving it... Shella doesn't know to swim... so VJ drives the jeep over the bridge onto the water.. n under water he locks the car with his remote n allow shella drown to death... now brain thinks... Is that not possible to open a car from inside!!! damn guys the car is locked using remote, u can pretty much open it from inside... y didn't babu sivan think about it... How I mean WOW... let me tell again WOWWWWWWWWWWWw.....

This time no 60, 70, 80 watts... its 1500 Watts I say... n I recommend that every one give it a try.... Its probably the best movie of this year... But you see if you had a pissed off day n you wanna relax don't go... coz seeing vettaikaran is an execution.. ya gotto plan... gather atleast 10 guys ready to give some job to their brain... book in advance and be there... ya are gonna have fun... This movie would make sound for all the wrong reasons... Its gonna be a blockbuster... ya gonna laugh ya ass out...

Excerpt:
Post interval Vijay looks at the audience and says...
"Ungalukkellam Kuruvi, villu paththadhudaa....vera vera vera vera
Vettaikaran thaanda"

"puli urumudhu Puli urumudhu......

parandhu varaan vettai kaaran
paamaranin kootu kaaran
nalla paadum paatu kaaran
gandhi porandha naattu kaaram
kambedutha vettaikaaran....."

What the fuck am I singing?

Nikkama odu odu odu odu odu...

anon

8 comments:

  Anonymous

December 19, 2009 at 10:19 AM

Most of the scenes in the movie remind u of most of the tamil masaala movies while some of the kutti kutti scenes are from some of the hollywood movies (like Wanted, Apocalyto and A Beautiful mind). Padhathula pudhusaa kaatuna orey vishayam Dr.Vijay pottu varra pattu selai sokka dhaan. Summa erikkudhullaa...!

Evana ellam thousand KamalaHaasan vandhaalum thirutthavey mudiyaadhu...!!!

  Anonymous

December 20, 2009 at 1:22 AM

nice review

  Unknown

December 20, 2009 at 1:41 PM

dude.... din write abt fire stunt by VJ???

  250WcurrentIsay

December 20, 2009 at 7:34 PM

swadeep

This entry is already too long... if I had to mention all the super flaws of vettaikaran, I gotta write a book... thanks for mentioning that scene, I didn't forget, just left it purposefully... marakkara scena adhu...

Cheers

  Sathish Chandrasekaran (சதீஷ் சந்திரசேகரன்)

December 21, 2009 at 8:49 AM

Hey super review machi ;)
Loved every bit of it :)
Surely will watch with a gang & have fun.....


Nice work man..
keep blogging
cheers!!!!

  250WcurrentIsay

December 21, 2009 at 10:26 AM

Sat_hi_sh

Thanks buddy... do watch vettaikaran...
n if ya are not liking it, don't scold me....


anon

  Vignesh C

December 24, 2009 at 9:41 AM

Super post :)

I was laughing throughout.. :)

  Anonymous

February 21, 2010 at 12:09 AM

You have to express more your opinion to attract more readers, because just a video or plain text without any personal approach is not that valuable. But it is just form my point of view