Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bull shit, cow shit, lizard shit,
Thalabathy has stamped on pig shit,
Sun picture's face is fulla crow shit,
awww Damn ya are also been hit,
n thats a fucking shark shit...
Oh yeh oh god I m also hit...
n thats a fucking shark shit....
yehhhhhhhhhhhh Sura Shit.....

Hey fellas this Shit rap is dedicated to all the mortal humans who have survived the colossal catastrophe... Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... (cough..cough) aaaaaaahhhhhh... never thought I would see this day....thanks to Sura.... I m back....



Talking about shit; hey hey I don't wanna see that Yuck on yr face; coz every one of ya would have seen some shit in yr life.... but believe me have ya seen a shark shit...something which even the national geography or the Animal planet has forgotten to document... almost nobody has witnessed it in this world... now ya can be a part of the history, coz the shark shit is caught on tape n Sun pictures has released it in over 20 theatres in chennai now... Hats off Sun pictures.... We know ya can run any damn shit n this happens to be a special one, Thalabathy's 50 th shit.....

Now lets get onto Sura.... Well shark has this notorious habit of swallowing almost everything it can fit in its mouth... In an autopsy conducted on a female great white shark, researchers found pretty much everything in its guts...Cans, bottles, number plates, Panties with pussies intact (wow Lesbian Shark), Condoms with errr nothing.. all used condoms, also an unborn SAC's offspring (shit.. I jus revealed a truth... lemme delete it before anybody sees....clkclkclkclk... oh no FUCK my backspace is not working... damn)... forget that I m jus kidding.... the point is just like a Shark guts, we have pretty much all the garbage of this world packaged in Thlabathy's Sura....Probably thats y they named it like that.....

Story... In a small fishing village called Yaazh Nagar (Yaazhpaanam is touched here), lives a noble ass named Sura... He is like 10 moms in love.... he is like 10 elephants in strength... he is a chanakya in brain... kshatriya in courage... he is Tsunami + Tornado the whole square.... (as told/ shown in movie).... on a whole a total ass-swipe (this I m saying).... Yaazhnagar has a big problem.... The fisherman who go for fishing are getting vanished with their boats...When things keep continuing, Sura decides to investigate.... He starts his mission on his fishing boat.... an effective time manager he allocates ample time for his love interest Tammu Kutty, punch dialogues, acrobatic dances, gravity defying stunts, long jumps, high jumps and his usual blah blah blahs... In the middle of the sea, Sura's boat begins to shake n it gets sucked under water, n Sura manages to jump outta the boat safely... He gets a scuba diving kit outta no where , wears it, gets under water n he gets the shock of his life....Sura finds a miniature Black hole n thats sucking everything within its reach... Sura figures out that its one of the Bakisthan terrorist attack on India, this tym they have smuggled the Large Hedron Collider from Europe, collided protons to cause a black hole to suck total India into it...n yep.. What? I need to stop? Why? The story is shit? Its like Captain VijayKanth story? hahahahahaha If ya r not liking this one, how are ya gonna tolerate the original story of Sura... Oh Gawd.....ya betta getta life...



Vijay.... we are in sucha stage wherein we cannot mock Vijay anymore... coz he himself has been adjudged as a symbol of mockery these days... VJ gets everything wrong in sura... In his introduction, VJ leaps outta water like a dolphin witha very poorly executed rope shot... I can bet that ya r gonna see a lotta dolphins getting swept across the sea dead in coming days... well its nothing to do with 2012... they are all gonna commit mass suicide...VJ how can ya live with this... VJ has experimented a lotta new things in Sura.... He walks with his hand folded backwards, heads up lika Nithyanandha, sometimes tsunami behind him, sometimes tornado, sometime rays of light emanating outta him... wears black n black costumes in the scorching sun.... does mimicry... drives Audi... last but not the least he does ultimate get up change, n challenges Kamal's Dasavatharam... Shark Singh (will try posting the picture.... ya guys will laugh yr ass to explode)... even his dances haf let him down this tym.... "Naan nadandhaal adhiradi" is choreographed well, VJ has executed the dance well... however I would like to point out that dancing is different from dancing gracefully...VJ hasn't danced gracefully this tym... we are definitely missing his monkey face gestures he does on screen...

Tamanna.... she has absolutely nothing to showcase in sura except for her fair thighs, navel, hip.... she looks likea barbie doll... theres something cooking btw Sun pics and Tamanna.... I think I mentioned it before too... I m not happy abou this.... I haf my doubts on the Sun Pictures CEO Sex-ena...

Ekambaram Cameraman.... Is this the same guy who cinematographed Iyarkai... Damn in most of the scenes we could see the screen shaking... Was he stroking himself when he was shooting the pic...

SPRaajkumar or SPRaajakumar as a whole is a total asshole.... He gets a jackpot of his life, n look wat he did.... SPR will be known as Sura Pugazh RaajKumar in the days to come.... period... nothing more to talk on him....

Vadivelu as Umbrella.... "Shabba ippove kanna kattudhey".... I think we are all getting tired/sick/pissed of him n cannot bear him any longer.... Vadivelu yr days are numbered in cinema and real life (please visit a doctor n check yr cholesterol level) too....

ManiSharma.... He has n't done much this tym... all songs are graciously remade from his telugu hits.... he has faltered a lot in composing BGM.... I haf been a fan of his music.... infact when ya see Pokiri (telugu) when the BGM "Jagadame" starts we are sure to get goosebumps... In sura ya only hope there was no BGM at all....

Let me be very frank... Logic loopholes creep up in a script even it ya r taking the best precautions... I haf no problems with it....but in Sura they are not taking the precautions at all.... For example, Post interval Sura grabs 100 crore worth goods from villain (Rowdy MLA... ya guessed it right)... n ya know wat is in it....Heroine, Ganja, Abine... no no ya haf Laptops.... if a laptop cost arount 40k .... we haf 25000 laptops.... FUCKING SHIT... how the heck one can smuggle so many laptops... n then comes an unwanted scene, Sura sells the laptops in Mumbai... he is sitting in a auditorium, with his laptops spread across him, and on the laptops we see a VJ screen saver.... WTF.... So sura went to the desktop settings of each n every laptop, copied his image and set a screen saver.... this is too much guys.... its crap believe me.... n the climax, when Villain plants a remote controlled Bomb in the Yaazhnagar, Sura breaks the key board n all the wires which control the bomb... thats fine...but wat pisses me off is that the Bomb is diffused when the timer reads 0:00 .... this is CRAP.... even Captain VJkanth can diffuse a bomb with 3 sec to spare... but VJ does with no secs to spare... these are just small dirts in the Dustbin called Sura..... ya haf got worser scenes....

Wats really pathethic about this movie is we cannot even enjoy it by mocking... Coz even we are feeling sorry for VJ... Even I didn't expect his 50th movie would be like this... I heard SAC VJ's beloved father is the main culprit... he is the one who selected the script it seems.... VJ if ya really wanna make big, pls follow Simbhu.... donot listen to yr father hereafter.... he is a DumbAss ....

ya can log on to youtube n see naan nadanthaal adhiradi song... avoid this movie like plague.... So wats the Wattage -> 1 laptop needs 65 Watts... 25000 laptops = ? that much wattage rascala.... I m weak in mathematics....

Expecting VJ next movie... Goorkha... no no ... Watchman ... no no ... I don't remember the name, but the is something on this lines.... Lets wait for that shit too...

Anon ....